The Bravermans hurl head first into more financial disasters

So when we last checked in with the Bravermans (the fictional family from Parenthood) they were making the emotional and yet insane mistake of sending their daughter to an Ivy League school which they can’t afford so that her “dream” can come true. (and by dream I assume they mean dream of going to amazing school not nightmare of being bankrupted by her student debts- anyhoo)

In the next chapter of their financial douchiness, they have made another super bad choice.  

The backstory is that Adam and Crosby go into business together because Adam lost his job and Crosby has a dream of opening his own recording studio in a dilapidated old studio full of history (and probably roaches as well).  Adam sinks in all his savings, they rehabilitate the place and Crosby works his musical magic and all of a sudden they are on top with a celebrity client and an article in a local paper.

Out of nowhere a guy shows up to make them an offer to buy their studio for $1 million.  The brothers fight, Adam wants to sell but Crosby does not.  Adam then goes behind his brothers back for another meeting where the guy doubles his offer to $2 million. (because that happens everyday right?  a business from a dying market does nothing but set itself up in an office and someone wants to come and hand them $2 million fucking dollars) 

Crosby still doesn’t want to sell- because this studio is his DREAM, man- Don’t you understand?  The two fight and it gets bloody as they throttle each other at a family gathering.

Then, to keep the peace Crosby decides that he will sell.  Not really a bad deal since he will be walking away from a business that he started less than a year ago with a huge pile of money.

But it is hanging in the air- the pain and suffering that Crosby will go through as he gives up the dream that he has now had for a couple of months (because we all know that they could never set up their equipment somewhere else and just keep doing the same thing, right?)

Anyhoo, Crosby is getting married and at his wedding Adam gets up to speak and get’s teary and emotional as he tells the crowd and his brother that he will be making yet another ridiculous and potentially financially crippling decision- this time to give Crosby his dream and let him keep the studio.

Cue the sentimental music, tears and hugs.  All though they are all crying because the moment is so moving, they should be crying because in the real world this would be the stupid dumbass move that anyone has ever done.  Someday when they lose their house and don’t have money for groceries or their daughters ivy league college (which of course, will never happen because this is tv) they will cry about the fact they they didn’t make the smart choice and take a huge fucking check when it was handed to them.

How to Climb the Everest of Mommy Guilt


I never wanted a career but I set about making one happen with a vengeance and I have never looked back. As it turned out, I ended up loving the career I never wanted…
Samantha Ettus from Forbes recently wrote an article called “Guilt to the Great: A working Mom’s battle.” A friend recommended it because she thought that I would appreciate hearing the point of view of a successful working mother- and addressing an issue which plagues us all- guilt: The truth was it rubbed me the wrong way.
Ettus told the story of having to miss her 5 year old daughter’s ballet recital because she was scheduled to speak at a conference which was planned months in advance. She described it as the Everest of mommy guilt.

All I could think about was my own Everest of guilt which was going to a grocery store, filling my cart up and then having my card rejected. I turned around and went home with nothing. That night I searched the pantry for anything that I could find. I put together a meal of rice and beans and then cried and cried and cried and started a humiliating round of phone calls asking to borrow money. It wasn’t the first or only time it happened and it made me fierce.
 
I never wanted a career but I set about making one happen with a vengeance and I have never looked back. As it turned out, I ended up loving the career I never wanted. I took my passion and experience and used it to create a start up in the financial sector as a way to help people get out of debt (we are still in stealth mode which means we haven’t launched yet) and I am even working on my own book called “Disrupting Debt” you can check it out on kickstarter.
 

My career was shaped by the hard times that I went through, but was also a result of the fact that I am far more suited to working than staying home fulltime. I can’t wrap my head around housekeeping at all. My house is embarrassingly messy- dishes everywhere and laundry piling up all over the place BUT there are two things which I am really good at- cooking and loving my kids. I make them delicious meals and I delight in my time with them.
 
I don’t think that women need to go through what I did in order to justify having a career- some women are just happier working and able to create a better and more stable family that way. There should be no guilt for that.

My kids complain sometimes about how much I work, and I know that they miss me when I am gone (I miss them too) but I know that I am doing the best I can by them and for myself. I believe that children are more resilient than we give them credit for- excuse me if this will sound mean but if my kids complain about my work, I remind them that there are kids who have to leave school and work to support their families, kids who are hungry and kids who don’t have food to eat or clean water to drink.  Then I tell to stop complaining and count their blessings.  They are LUCKY that I work, that I care for them- that no matter how much time I spend away from them, I am loving them the whole time.
 
I just asked my son what he thinks about the fact that I work and he said “I think it’s pretty great.” (I swear, I did not bribe him to say this) So there you go, no need for guilt.

Everything I do, I do for them, for me, and for us. I have no guilt and neither should any hardworking woman.
 
Sarah Nadav is an entrepreneur, thinker, journalist, university lecturer, and writer.  Sarah is the mother of two and CEO of BUKIT a financial sector start up in stealth mode.   You can contact Sarah through email sarahnadav@gmail.com or find her on twitter @sarahnadav
 

F&CK FRUGALITY

We are all entering a new age of penny pinching, our economy has contracted and everyone thinks that we should all tighten our belts, ditch our daily lattes and pull ourselves out of our mess by our bootstraps.

I think that this is total bullsh$t.  If you lost your house to foreclosures or got trapped in some kind of 30% compounded interest loan or credit card debt that has soared beyond any rational capability to pay then how the hell are you supposed to get out by saving a few cents or even a few dollars a day.

Frugality is a pill that everyone seems to have taken, a panacea which conveniently makes people feel in control of their lives but doesn’t actually solve anything.

Many people’s debts are from catastrophic illness (highest cause of bankruptcy) or job loss.  I hate to say this, but if you are in this category then you are pretty screwed at least for the next few years and pinching pennies won’t actually help. 

You will probably have to take a hit on the big things- like your car and house, so give yourself some of the smaller things.  Some of the simple delights that make life worth living like a chocolate truffle or a great cup of coffee.  Stay human until you get through all of this.  Go to the movies, or a meal out in a restaurant every once in a while.

Having been through hell and back I can tell you that there were shining moments- like times I took my kids to a fair where they could ride an elephant or sat on the roof of the Peninsula hotel in winter across from a roaring fire drinking a $10 hot chocolate.

I am not saying to spend wildly, and chances are that even if you wanted to you couldn’t.  I am saying, watch the big things so that you can enjoy some of lifes simple pleasures.

10 things to cut so you can pay credit card debt- WTF?

Wow- in one of the most ignorant blog posts about saving money that I have EVER seen creditcards.com gives you a list of suggestions of places where you can cut your budget so that you can pay down your credit card bills.

So many of these money saving articles are bullshit- and this one is asking people to make significant sacrifices for really minimal savings. 

For organizational ease I will go through each one of their lame suggestions and punch holes in it.  It is almost insulting to think that people are stupid enough to need (or follow) this advice.

1. Cellphones- they suggest cutting your bill and getting a prepaid card… huh  a. prepaid calling is ridiculously expensive and if you have ever tried it you know that it is way more than a contract and furthermore b. most people are locked into contracts.  

2. Cable/satellite- they suggest “cutting the premium package” or cutting it all if you are “really in trouble.”  I say- a. if you are so down and out that you can’t pay your bills but you keep your cable then you have obviously lost your mind because you can get just about all of your entertainment free online and furthermore b. most people are locked into contracts

3. Lower your homeowners and car insurance- They suggest significantly lowering your coverage for a measly $88 savings per year. soo not worth it IMO and furthermore b. most people are locked into contracts

4. Transportation- okay, this one I actually agree with.  Downsize, bike, or use public transportation because a car is just a depreciating asset.

5. Utilities- If you can cut this down with programmable thermostats then more power to you.  Just remember, pipes burst if they freeze and so do people.

6. Food- they suggest that you stop eating*

7. Gym membership- agreed that you should cut this- refer back to number #4 and become your own transportation

8. Movies- You CAN change the way you have fun, stay home, play board games but then again… Every once in a while you need to have some fun so I say- “staycation” but go out for some entertainment once in a while. 

9. Taxes- they say that many people who are struggling to pay their debt are in financial trouble do to loss of job.  I think that NOT getting a paycheck kind of takes care of the “taxes being taken out of the paycheck” issue.

10.  They saved the best for last… drum roll please… the financial suggestion of creditcards.com is that you should STOP PAYING HEALTH INSURANCE FOR YOUR DEPENDENTS. WTF?

*out 

The law of attraction, get rich quick- and by “rich” they mean “in debt”

Hindsight is 20/20 and in retrospect- it is no surprise that “The Secret” was popular during the boom years in the early 2000’s.  Just “think money” and it will appear- just “envision abundance” and it will fall in your lap.

The irony of course, is that what ultimately appeared for people was a money mirage that just lead them down the rabbit hole of high interest rates and for some, a now foreclosed upon dream home which they couldn’t afford anyway.

Does our slump now mean that we are just not thinking enough good thoughts? 

Since we all believed (or many of us at least- you dear reader, I am sure, were too smart for that) that all we needed to do was think about money and it would appear than it makes sense that none of wondered why banks were sending us checks (which were actually high interest rate loans) and our houses were like giant ATM cards.

 It is also no wonder that this dream fell apart.

“The Secret” might just be that when someone offers you something for nothing, you should look a gift horse in the mouth.

How making a payment can totally screw you

Fact: making even one payment towards a debt restarts the clock for “time barred debts.”  This will basically screw you for another 7 years if you don’t have enough money to pay down your full debt all at once.

Some people misunderstand what a “statute of limitations” means on a debt.  

Fact: Your debt NEVER goes away.  The only thing that goes away is the ability to SUE YOU.

This is why collection agencies can run after you until infinity and beyond… but they can only sue your a$$ for seven years after your last payment.  

Sometimes acknowledging the debt is enough to get them to restart the clock so it’s really not in your best interest to even speak to anyone about it unless you can pay them off.

If want to pay down your debts, your best bet is to save up the money to pay the whole thing off at once rather than making payments.

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